THE ART OF TRUE LOVE

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Here’s a piece that I wrote on this day 2 years ago. I changed his age because obviously he has grown. I learnt the art of true love through my relationship with my brother(Tiyisela), he’s been my best friend since he became a statistic of being a 2000-may I not be murdered for this.

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The 19 years that I’ve known him have been the best years of my life, we’ve always been button and shirt, I don’t know what it means to have “serious fights” with your siblings. I still have vivid memories of how he used to cry when he started school, that literally triggered my tear glands and it would be a cry song.

During my childhood years, if you wanted my where abouts, you could just look for my little brother, ‘coz by finding him, you would automatically find me. We were ALWAYS together, literally. Wherever I visited, he was sure to go with me.

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I didn’t have to wait to reach puberty and have guys lie to me about loving me until Jesus comes back in order to understand what true love is, I learnt it at home, that’s why it’s so hard for me to stay where I’m taken for granted. I’m a true lover, when I love, I love for real. It all began in my parents’ house.

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Finally I just wanna formally and publicly announce that I love my little brother, I think he’s gonna sit by my side on my wedding day so that I spend quality time with him before I leave the Baloyi house. Tiyisela, ndza ku rhandza.

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Cherish your siblings, bond with them, you’ll never know how to love someone who comes to your life about 25 years after your birth the right way if you neglect building a healthy relationship governed by love with your siblings. 

❤
Tsu

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Only YOU can save YOU

Show me one person who can tell me that their life is perfect. I guess you’ll have to look from the Cape to the North and even go to the UAE and still not find a single person. Life tosses and turns us all, and when it does that, it is your own responsibility to save yourself. No one else but YOU.

You definitely need support from friends and family but the only person you are always with is you. No superpowers will ever make them get into your mind and make you take over it. The only person who has your mind is you and whatever you constantly think about yourself is what will manifest.

I have been in a very bad space for a while now, I thank God I don’t look like everything I went through. One day I’ll spill the beans about it. I am lowkey writing this to myself and it’s speaking to me, I hope it speaks to someone who has made mistakes in the past and is trying to make up for the mistakes.

Here’s what I want you and I to live by to help us save ourselves:

1. Believe in yourself

You will never succeed in anything you do if you don’t believe in yourself. Those who thought they would fail but didn’t fail had belief in themselves despite the presence of fear of failure. Download LOA affirmations and affirm everyday to help you boost your belief in yourself. Read about what law of attraction(LOA) is here.

2. Show up

It’s hard to get up when you’re really low but the secret to progressing in life is in telling yourself that you’ll get your freakin’ self out of bed no matter how hard is; and show up for your life, because NO ONE will ever show up for you. Someone really close to me told me:”The only way you’ll be able to change your life is if you get up and DO IT”, so get up and do whatever it is you know will change your life.

3. Have a direction

We often get lost in our own lives because we don’t have a GPS. Plan your day and see how much easier it gets to complete tasks even though the tasks are nowhere close to easy. Plan your day by writing down all your daily goals to help you achieve your short and long term goals. An app called Monday can help with this.

4. Pray

This is what I grew up knowing can move mountains, heal sicknesses and change situations. Play a worship song, read the word of God and pray. God will surely make it happen for you, just remember to take charge of your life after praying because the truth is only you can save you.

5. Forgive yourself

Wherever you are in life right now is 99.99% because of YOU. However, you need to forgive yourself if you’re not pleased with where you are. Start by forgiving yourself,believe in yourself once again, pray, plan, and show up.

xoxo

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GIYANI-LAND OF BLOOD

Since Giyani started yesterday, 1 April 2019, let me join the masses and write a little something about this historic event. Look, I don’t mind Vendas and Pedis being present in the telenovela, afterall, some Tsonga people live together with Pedis and Vendas in some places. Mo se ndzi tsala hi Xitsonga.

Ndzi rhandza masungulo lawaya 🙌🏾🔥. Dokodela na vona va ku ndzi kona etendeni va hi tlhava hi risimu ehenhla ka vutshila bya vaendli va masungulo. Ndzi nga se ya emahlweni, mo ndzi ku Musa u sasekile kambe i boti wa mina(ana vhele i wa ka Baloyi)-No bula swa ku u sasekile, muhlekisano wa mina a nge tsaki. 🤣

“Damit yi nge hi pfuni hi nchumu papo” ya Yvonne Chaka-Chaka mo ndzi HUMA eka yona. 😩😂 Mara von’wina mi swi vonile swigubu leswiya na ketlele liya ya nsimbhi? Swi ndzi teka swi ndzi yisa eka minkarhi leyi a hi vhaka eBotsoleni ka gogo.

Minkukulu leyi a yi hayekiwe erivantini ke? Ku a ku tele njhani mi swi vonile? Hi leswi vanhu va tiko va humisaka xiswona loko ku ri na mintlangu hala makaya. Ndzi twa ndzi ri na ku tshembha ku vaendli va ntlangu lowu a va lo swi wela-wela, ndzavisiso wa ku Vatsonga va hanya njhani wu endliwile.

A swi nga ta tsandza! Ni hlaya ku a swi nga ta endla ku ndzi nga tsali hi Giyani, a ndzi na marito yo tala hikuva na wona ntlanga wa ha ku sungula, no puta Cawuke loko kuve va nga va va funye buwa.

INKOMU! Hi khensa hi vuyelela hina Vatsonga ku va ndzhavuko wa hina na ririmi ra hina swi kondze swi nyikiwa awara na timinete ta makume nharhu evhikini eka SABC. Aheeee ❤️

#GiyaniLandOfBlood

My Period Journey-Part 2

A quick fast forward to January, schools reopened, and my mom still didn’t know that I started menstruating. Hell broke loose when the period came while I was at school. I stood up to give the bathroom a visit because I felt so uncomfortable, little did I know that I had already stained my skirt, I saw because some people were staring at me.

Nyeleti followed me to the toilet and offered me a pad, bless her. I then took my jersey and tied it on my waist to cover the stain. However the stain didn’t cover the lowered self-esteem, menstrual blood is nowhere close to smelling good, so you can imagine the damage that the stain did.

This is the day I decided to tell my mom. I saw that not telling my mom is gonna add fuel to the fire that was already burning me. When I got home from school, my mom was not at home, so I called her and said:”Mhani, nkombela min vuyela na ti pad”, those are Tsonga words which mean:”Please buy me pads”.

This very day, is also the day that I started experiencing period cramps. My mom came back, and she found me lying uncomfortably on my bed. Those who know my mom know that she’s not a woman of many words, she gave me the pads and handed me something that I call THE MAGIC PILL, its name is Mybulen.

Mybulen has saved me from the heartlessness of PMS and cramps that come during my period. Don’t tell me about yoga, working out, rice socks, warm water, those things failed me. You’re welcome to share what has worked to alleviate period pains for you also. This is the end of the menstruation series, thank you for reading.

First Period Saga(Part 1)

Why does it feel like it was yesterday? It’s been a freaking TEN years of being in this bloody industry. I’m now thinking of doing a 10 years anniversary celebration for my periods and I. How about that?

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But what am I celebrating? I hate periods, but then again, it’s a blessing to see them because there are some people who didn’t see them at 15, and are 30, or even 40, and still haven’t seen them.

I’m grateful to be counted amongst those who saw their first period between the ages of 12 and 15. My first period came when I was 13, I guess you now know how old I am, but that’s not quite important today. Let me share my story.

My childhood was made up of the best Decembers, I’m saying this because being with family is at the top of the list of things that I love the most. Most Decembers, my cousins and I would visit my late grandmother’s house and aunt’s house interchangeably.

One typical summer day, my aunt came to fetch us, you now know the drill right? The moment I got inside the car and sat is the moment I saw a reddish-brown stain that had already dried, now that I’m thinking of it, I realise that it was hours since the blood got discharged.

I knew immediately that it was menstrual blood because our Life Orientation teacher had equipped us when I was still 11. When we got to my aunt’s house, I washed my nude pants and underwear.

It was all good until I used a tissue paper as a sanitary pad, why wouldn’t I? I hadn’t told my aunt about what I saw. Poor Tsu didn’t even know how long it lasts, it was tragic. I asked my aunt to take me home, she refused to take me home but I begged until she agreed.

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I got home and took pads from my mom’s room without her knowledge, remember I said my LO teacher equipped me? But still, I had to tell my mom, I didn’t know how to tell her.

The cycle came and went while I was progressively “stealing” pads from my mother’s drawer. Where did I think it would take me? How could I do that to myself?

Is it normal? Did any of you feel embarrassed to tell family about your first period? I would love to hear your first period experiences, even if they are embarrassing like mine. 😂

STAY IN TOUCH FOR PART TWO WHICH WILL BE POSTED ON THURSDAY ❤️

Menstruation Situation

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Picture from Eco Femme

I think I should formally apologize to my male followers because this blog will be a bit biased, we’ll be focusing more on women than men. Nevertheless, you’re still welcome to stick around. You can rest assured that your stay will not be in vain.

I was about to say:”Periods affect…”,then I came back to my senses. Periods are not a disease, they are not an illness, so they don’t affect women, however, a large number of women go on their period. Of course, that’s what I said, let’s not forget our sisters who are faced with amenorrhea, i.e. the absence of periods.

Gonadal dysgenesis, endometriosis, Turner syndrome, hypothalamic amenorrhea, testicular feminization and polycystic ovarian syndrome are not myths, these are prominent conditions that affect our sisters out there. These conditions result in the absence of menstruation or irregular menstrual cycles.

On the other hand those who have normal periods have their own struggles. Finding the best pads can be a hassle, I still don’t know which pads are ideal for me, that’s bad. Using a tampon may be uncomfortable for others. I won’t talk about a menstrual cup because I’ve never used it, anyway, I’m open to trying it so please suggest a brand.

Mood swings and cramps also have a tendency of invading your life. Periods are definitely not my best friend. On the next post, I’ll share My Periods Journey, be sure to follow the blog so that you don’t miss it. I’ll share a period hack that has worked for me over the years also. You don’t wanna miss it.

For now, take care of yourself and show yourself some self love.

xoxoxo

Tsu

Matric Results Day

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I remember the day I got my matric results like it was yesterday. I got an admission to Bachelor’s degree pass, topped with 3 distinctions. My mom and whole family were very happy and proud of me. Reminiscing about that moment just vividly brought back the memories.

Then, I got to understand that the class of 2018 mus be going through a cascade of excitement episodes. Congratulations class of 2018; the anticipation has finally ended, you have finally reaped the rewards of your hardwork.

However, we all know that at school, there are two things involved, it’s either you pass or you fail. It’s also an obvious case that there are those who failed. I will not say the cliché words:”If you failed, go back to school and try again”.

Here is what I have to say:

Identify the reason why you failed. Is it because there were a lot of destructions? Work on moving them out of your way and go back to school.

Is it because your mind was unstable because something painful happened? Work on it by finding someone to help you deal with it and go back to school. You will do better if you use a better approach, I promise.

As a Tsonga girl who grew up in South Africa since day one, I know how much passing matric is over-glorified in our country. Of course passing matric is one of the greatest milestones in life, but we have to remember that we are not our grades, read on.

It is possible that you failed because your strong point has nothing to do with the classroom. We as black people have been programmed to think the only acceptable way to succeed in life is by going to school.

I would say go back to school and try again if you know that what you want needs you to do so. Do not be deceived, university is not for everyone, just as “not going to university” is not for everyone.

Sit down and evaluate yourself, categorize yourself into one of the above categories and do what is meant for you. To those who are going to university, I hope you chose the right courses, I can’t stress the importance of that enough.

It is also okay to take a gap year if you are not sure about what you are meant to do, or else you will go to university only to waste your time and money; I’m sure that’s not what you wanna do. It is better to go late than to regret going early.

I welcome you to the post-matric world. It is going to be a fun roller-coaster adventure , don’t be afraid to make mistakes, just be sure to learn from them. Do not leave your work ethics, morals and good habits with high school, take them with you into the big cities in order to succeed. ❤️